How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
Most nights I stay awake—not because I’m doing anything productive, but because I’m stuck in my thoughts. I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling, asking myself: how do I stop loving someone who doesn’t even know, or care, how I feel about them?
I’ve opened up. I’ve shared my feelings, my fears, my doubts. I let my guard down and became vulnerable in their presence. And still, none of it was enough. Maybe it’s time I pull myself together and move on with my life—without them.
If you’re reading this, I bet you’ve asked yourself the same thing: How do I stop loving someone who doesn’t love me back? I’ve been there, and in this article, I’ll break down what worked for me. Maybe it’ll help you too.
If you’re losing sleep, having restless thoughts, constantly wanting to be close to someone who feels so distant—someone who never reciprocates the energy—you need to do the honorable thing: walk away. Don’t wait for them to choose you while they’re off loving someone else.
Love is supposed to be mutual. It’s supposed to feel safe, exciting, and shared. When you find yourself doing all the work, chasing, hoping, and hurting—it stops being love and starts becoming self-destruction.
If you’ve confessed your feelings and got rejected—not once, but multiple times—please hear this: stop trying. Go where your love is wanted. Go where your heart is safe.
That’s why learning to let go is important. That’s why you need to figure out how to stop loving someone who will never love you back.
Also Read: How to Survive a Breakup When You Are Still in Love
5 Things That Helped Me Stop Loving Someone
Truth be told, it’s not easy to unlove someone your heart has already chosen. It feels like trying to rewire your entire being. The process can leave you shattered. Your heart keeps whispering, “Hold on, maybe they’ll change, maybe they’ll love me back someday.”
But I’ll tell you this: it’s not worth it. There’s always someone out there who will love you better. Someone who’ll value your affection, who won’t be afraid to love you back. Someone who’ll see beyond the moment and want a future with you. That person exists—you just haven’t given yourself the chance to find them.
There’s a quote I love: “When one door closes, another opens. But we often stare so long at the closed door that we miss the one that’s already open.”
Now here are five things that helped me stop loving someone who didn’t love me back:
1. Time
As cliché as it sounds, time really does heal. The problem is, some people don’t give themselves enough time to heal—they carry their pain for years, sometimes forever.
If you’ve already confessed your feelings, made the effort, and they still don’t see your worth, it’s time to stop holding on. Walk away, even if it hurts. Give yourself space. Let time do its work.
Remind yourself every day: You are enough. You are lovable. You deserve someone who chooses you, fully and freely. With time—and the right mindset—life has a way of surprising you with someone even better than you imagined.
2. Distance Yourself
One of the biggest things that helped me stop loving someone I was madly in love with was learning to create distance. I used to be the one always reaching out, seeking attention and connection—even when it hurt. But at some point, I just stopped.
At first, it felt strange. My heart kept telling me to check on them, to send that message—but trust me, that’s not the way to heal.
Instead, I threw myself into other things. I made new friends. I tried hobbies I never thought I’d enjoy. I focused on myself.
But here’s something important: don’t jump into a new relationship right away.
If you do, you might carry unhealed wounds into something that had the potential to be beautiful—and ruin it before it begins. Give yourself time.
Learn More: Long-Distance Relationship: 13 Tips to Strengthen Your Love
3. Stop Romanticizing a Relationship With Them
Another thing that helped me was letting go of the idea of being with them. I stopped imagining a future where we were together. I stopped playing out those “what if” stories in my head.
The moment you stop seeing them as “someone special” and start seeing them as just another person—no emotional attachment—your mind starts to adjust. You slowly stop needing that closeness.
You’ll feel better when you can see them with someone else and not feel that sting. Smile, say hi, and go your way. That’s real growth.
4. Don’t Give Them Power Over How You Feel
One thing I’ve learned is this: people can be manipulative—especially when they know they’ve got you emotionally stuck. It’s okay to love someone, but not to the point where they feel like you can’t live without them. That kind of love becomes dangerous. They might end up using it against you.
If you’re pouring your heart into someone who clearly isn’t giving the same energy back—and they’re always about themselves—it’s a red flag. One-sided love is draining. Don’t settle for crumbs when you deserve the whole meal.
At some point, you have to cut ties completely. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself doing everything for someone who wouldn’t lift a finger for you—and later they’ll act like you were never asked to in the first place.
5. Choose Yourself Every Time
Walking away from someone who doesn’t love you back shows that you have control over your emotions—not them. Here’s the real question: do you love yourself?
Because the truth is, you can’t give what you don’t have.
If you love yourself, you’ll know when it’s time to walk away. You’ll stop waiting for someone else’s love to validate your own worth. And when you give yourself that same love and care you were offering them, you’ll start to feel the difference. You’ll attract peace, strength, and people who truly see you.
If they couldn’t appreciate your love, that’s not your loss—it’s theirs. Don’t dim your light for someone who can’t handle your shine. Pour all that love back into yourself. You deserve it.
Energy attracts energy—don’t let someone put out your fire just because they can’t see your glow.
I know how hard it can be. I’ve been there. It’s messy and painful, and yes, you’ll feel the pressure. But please don’t give up on yourself. One thing that really helped me was listening to positive healing affirmations. They helped quiet my mind and reminded me of who I am.
Here’s one of my favorite videos by Lavendaire:
👉 Healing Affirmations for Self Love and Wellness
Try playing it before bed or when your mind won’t stop racing. It helped me—and I hope it helps you too.
Final Thoughts
If you find yourself loving someone who doesn’t love you back, I gently suggest that you give yourself the time and space to let go. Choose yourself. Heal. Keep moving forward without them.
Like I said earlier, time heals all wounds. And if you allow yourself that time, you’ll eventually find someone who sees your worth—someone who truly loves and appreciates you for who you are.
